Eldercare: When Parents Need Help

Nearly six in 10 baby boomers find themselves helping their parents, either financially or with daily tasks like cooking, cleaning and transportation, according to Ameriprise Financial. Moreover, boomers' family financial support doesn't stop with parents. Over the last five years, people age 50 or older with less than $5 million in investable assets gave an average of $14,900 to family members of all ages, according to Merrill Lynch. So, it's no surprise that younger retirees and their spouses are scrambling to figure out the best combination of pitching in and tapping outside help.

The first step to consider is to assess the situation, say experts—ideally, before it becomes urgent. "You need first to have a family meeting," says Chad Terry, director of investment and retirement education at BlackRock.  He suggests starting with the elder's housing situation. Is he or she able to live without help? If so, then perhaps you could consider downsizing.  Often, elders own their homes outright, and can clear $300,000 to $500,000 from a home sale—enough to buy a condo and have money left over to provide supplemental care. Another option to consider is relocating to a state with lower taxes on retirement income.

An even more strategic step to think about: Looking for states with a lower cost of long-term care.  Extreme? Consider that 70% of 65-year-olds can expect to use some form of long-term care during their lives, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). The nationwide median cost of a home health aide is $45,188, while adult day-care runs $16,900, according to Genworth Financial.

What if the elder can't live unassisted? The least expensive option may be in-home care. Nearly 60% of people will receive this kind of care unpaid from a friend of family member, and will use it for an average of a year, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Family members pitching in can help ends meet, but such care has its own costs. "The caregiver loses money from time away from work," Terry says.

If these options don't provide enough care, the next levels available are generally assisted-living facilities or skilled-nursing facilities. The cost of assisted living facilities and nursing homes has climbed by 4%—much more sharply than the 1% hike in the cost of in-home care, according to Genworth Financial. Nationwide, the cost of a private room in a nursing home averages $87,600, while a one-bedroom, single occupancy in an assisted living facility costs $42,000.

These healthcare costs need not be out-of-pocket. There are a variety of long-term-care insurance programs, riders for life insurance and other financial vehicles to help offset the costs of health care not covered by an employer's healthcare plan or Medicare. "Most people pick this up when they're in their 50s, and hope they're not going to use them for a decade or two," Terry says. "You can't get them once you need them." Ideally, those kinds of conversations should also happen at the family meeting.

Source: http://www.blackrock.com/investing/planning/retirement/the-cost/long-term-care/eldercare?cid=twitter%3Aeldercare%3Ablackrock%3Aretirementcenter&sf38163351=1

Personal Development: 10 Ways to Improve Your Personality

Be a better listener. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was considered one of the most charming women in the world because she cultivated the skill of being an exceptional listener. She was known for the way she would look a person in the eyes, hang on their every word, and make them feel important. There is nothing more appealing than having someone listen to you intently making you feel like you’re the only person in the world.

Read more and expand your interests.The more you read and cultivate new interests, the more interesting you are to others. When you meet new people it gives you the opportunity to share what you know and to exchange your views with them.

Be a good conversationalist. This relates to how much you read and know. Once you have much to contribute, learn how to talk about it with others. No one can read about or know everything, so it’s refreshing to learn from others those things we don’t have the time to about read ourselves. If you happen to be shy, join a group like Toastmasters that encourages you to talk about what you know.

Have an Opinion.There is nothing more tiresome than trying to talk to someone who has no opinion on anything. A conversation has nowhere to go if you have nothing to expound on. If, however, you have an uncommon point of view or differing opinion, you are more interesting and stimulating to be with socially (unless you’re a know-it-all, of course). A unique outlook expands everyone’s perspective.

Meet New People. Make the effort to meet new people especially those unlike you. It not only exposes you to different cultures and alternative ways of doing things, it broadens your horizons.

Be yourself. The next most tiresome thing after having no opinions is trying to be something you’re not. Molding yourself in order to fit in, or be accepted, usually backfires. Since each of us is unique, expressing that uniqueness is what makes us interesting. Attempting to be a carbon copy of someone else not only falls flat, but reveals a lack of authenticity.

Have a positive outlook and attitude. Who wants to be around people who are negative, complain a lot, or have nothing good to say? In fact, most of us run when we see them coming. Instead, be the kind of upbeat person who lights up a room with your energy when you enter it. Do it by looking for the best in people and things. Smile warmly, spread good cheer, and enliven others with your presence.

Be fun and see the humorous side of life. Everyone enjoys the company of someone who makes them laugh, or smile, so look for the humorous, quirky side in a situation – there always is one. Comic relief is a much welcome and needed diversion at times. When you can add fun and lightheartedness to an otherwise dull or gloomy setting, others will naturally be attracted to you, not to mention grateful.

Be supportive of others. Being supportive is probably the most endearing quality you can integrate into your personality. Just as you yourself welcome it, be the support for others when they need it. We all love a cheerleader in our corner; someone who is encouraging, believes in us and helps pick us up when we’re down.

Have Integrity and treat people with respect. Being honest and true to your word will bring you the admiration, respect and gratitude of others. Nothing improves a person’s personality more than integrity and respect – respect for others, as well as respect for yourself.

Source: http://mostread.in/personal-development-10-ways-to-improve-your-personality/

This Video of a Young Couple Aging 70 Years Will Make You Laugh and Cry

By Mandy Oaklander

Love goggles don't wear off

Young love is beautiful—but that’s the easy part. What will two people see in each other decades from now when they’re no longer much to look at?

Engaged couple Kristie and Tavis, two such specimens of young love, wanted to look into their future before they tied the knot in a month.Cut Video and Field Day gave them a chance to peek into their marriage’s crystal ball, and in 100 Years of Beauty, the couple is transformed by a team of makeup artists from attractive 20-somethings into 90-year-olds, complete with costumes and prosthetics.

Time traveling through various stages of middle and old age—50, 70 and 90—taught them a few things. Realization No. 1: start wearing sunscreen now. Realization No. 2: love goggles don’t wear off when the wrinkles set in.

“You look fantastic,” Tavis tells Kristie when she reaches age 90 in a pink nightgown. “You don’t look a day over 75.”

Source: http://time.com/3881736/young-couple-grows-old-makeup/

5 Ways To Reframe Aging With Subtlety And Grace

The ageless Cher just turned 68. She recently was seen attending the Met Gala in New York City. The theme of this year's gala was everything Chinese and those in attendance wore costumes to reflect an aspect of the museum's exhibition. Cher wore a long gown of bended vivid dark colors with less vamp than in previous decades (think Bob Mackie's beaded bustier-and-loincloth she wore at the 1986 Oscars, complete with headdress). The only alluring factor was a risky décolletage. Oh dear me! What happened to Cher?

There are certainly aspects to aging that might require reframing as each decade passes. I assume Cher was reframing at the Met Gala this year. Cher is still very much Cher, but she saw no need to compete against Gaga and Sarah Jessica Parker.

I just took a road trip with my best friend from grammar school (we have known each other since we were 3 years old and lived on the same street), and tromping through wineries in the Napa Valley reminded us of how our rhythms and energy have changed very little since we were children and teenagers. We seemed to intuit each other's awareness and pace. Yet, we reflected that we couldn't drink as much wine as we thought; we looked more forward to reading before bed than drinking at a local pub -- and we ate less. But still, we had energy to spare and laughed outrageously.

My favorite reframing age anecdote happened when I recently purchased a used, fixer-up bike. I test rode five bikes with the vigor and excitement of a 10-year-old, but the bike I selected was a downsize version of a Gary Fisher mountain bike. It will do just fine.

Recognizing that you are undergoing subtle changes in the aging process require less literal thought and more mindful awareness.

Here are 5 ways to reframe aging with subtlety and grace:

1. Take Care of Yourself, Not Just Others
It is an axiom that women are the caretakers of the world. And of course, there are men who are very good in the nurturing department. People, organizations and places where you volunteer give gratitude for your help and that makes you proud and happy. But as you age, the way you take care of yourself matters more. In fact, you probably need more breathing space, more reflective time and more mindfulness during the aging process. It's perfectly awesome to give yourself many gifts throughout the day, the week and the month: practice yoga, meditate, play a round of golf, read, learn something new, take a bath and relax in bubbles. You are the most important gift to yourself as you age.

2. Set Boundaries in Personal and Professional Relationships
From the time you entered adulthood, you heard the caution: set your boundaries with family, friends and in your professional life. As you age, there may be a growing or extended family that requires your attention; you might have friends who need your companionship or your resources. Yet, part of reframing age is that time is precious. And the mantra - honor your body, mind and spirit - takes precedence. Listen to your needs and desires and be aware when no is the appropriate response. Sometimes, I tell my family I can't pick up the grandchildren from school. And the joy is that they completely respect my response and time.

3. Face Life's Challenges and Changes Joyfully
You've lived many decades. You are one of the fortunate people. Most of the struggle has passed and you are living a freer life. Yet, there are still challenges and changes you face - physical moves you might make to other cities or other locations or travel that might be uncomfortable. As you age, there is a need to reframe your needs and desires, to leave your comfort zone due to necessity or just to reconfigure your life. Remember to manage these changes with joy and remove negative responses and feelings. Challenges are stimulating, exciting and motivating.

4. Learn from Your Mistakes, Forgive Yourself and Move On
We all make mistakes. And it is often said that it is hardest to forgive yourself for those mistakes rather than forgive others who inflict verbal injury toward you. Forgiveness is about surrendering and moving forward. If you get sucked into the vortex of the unforgiving mindset, you will risk losing clarity of thought, clear communication and empathy. Reframe the way you look at forgiveness. Take time to assess those negative feeling that result from closing off your heart. Practicing a generosity of spirit will make life easier as you age.

5. Learn to Develop a Greater Sense of Personal Awareness: Stay Present
As you age, it is often noted that past memories seem more important than the present. In fact, during the aging process, you remember more of the past than you might imagine. It's easy to be drawn into memory, but it is mentally more productive and exciting to stay present, to be aware of your environment, the people who surround you and the opportunities that are in front of you. Reframing age means staying in the present and realizing the possibilities of living joyfully.

Taking time to live a healthy and well-balanced life is your legacy. It is an accomplishment, an acknowledgement that you are still unleashing and reframing your personal power and professional integrity as you age.

Joan Moran is a keynote speaker, commanding the stage with her delightful humor, raw energy, and wealth of life experiences. She is an expert on wellness and is passionate about addressing the problems of mental inertia. A yoga instructor, Moran is the author is "Sixty, Sex, & Tango, Confessions of a Beatnik Boomer." Visit her at www.joanfrancesmoran.com.

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joan-moran/tips-for-aging-gacefully_b_7235046.html

The Keys To Aging Well

By Barrie Davenport

When I think about the possibility of living to age 100, it conjures images of sitting slumped in a nursing home, wearing too much make-up with Willard Scott hovering around to mark the occasion on The Today Show.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to hang around too long in a withered, useless form or with a mind that exits before I do.

But would you want to live to age 100 or more if you were still active,  healthy, and respected in your community?

There is a place where that happens far  more frequently than in the United States or just about anywhere else for that matter — Okinawa. Okinawa is the largest collection of islands between mainland Japan and Taiwan. It’s in our history books because U.S. forces invaded it in World War II, and it served as a base for bomber raids during the Vietnam War. But in spite of this turbulent history, Okinawans enjoy better health and longevity than other Japanese or Americans.

Centenarians number 34 per 100,000 people in Okinawa, many living quite actively. Compare that to 5-10 per 100,000 in the United States, where more are in poor health.

So what gives with the Okinawans? Why do they live so much longer than the rest of us? Doctors have been studying the people of Okinawa for 25 years, and the results were published in The Okinawa Program (Clarkson Potter).

It’s pretty heavy reading, so I’ve summarized some of the secrets to a long and healthy life revealed in the book:

1. The Okinawan Diet. Okinawans eat an average of seven servings of fruit and vegetables a day (compared to 2-3 for Americans). They eat seven servings of grain and two servings of soy products. They eat Omega-3 rich fish several times a week and very few dairy products or  meat (about an ounce of pork or poultry a day). This diet offers protection against most diseases related to premature aging, including heart disease, cancer and stroke. Their main method of cooking is low-temperature stir frying with canola oil, a very healthy oil which is low in saturated fat.

2. Calorie Restriction. Okinawans practice something they call “hara hachi bu” — which means “eat until you are eight parts full”. This self-imposed calorie restriction contributes not only to longevity but also to long-term health. Because less food is being metabolized for energy, there is a reduction in free radicals. Free radicals (molecules without an electron) do significant damage to cells. This damage causes many of the problems that occur with the aging process. Eat less, live longer. Cool.

3. Slower Pace. During the Okinawa study, centenarians were given a personality test on which they scored low in feelings of “time urgency” and “tension” and high in feelings of “self-confidence” during the prime of their lives. They live on “Okinawa time” — nothing starts on schedule. Moderation is a key cultural value, and they have optimistic attitudes, adaptability and an easy-going approach to life.

4. Respect. In America, youth is revered and aging is something to be fought and feared. In Okinawa, longevity is respected. The elders in Okinawa are celebrated and regarded with pride and respect. Families take care of aging relatives, and they are integrated into every aspect of family life.

5. Active Lifestyle. Exercise is integrated into the lives of Okinawan elders. They enjoy gardening, tai chi, traditional dance, and light martial arts. Elder day care is subsidized by the government, and many belong to community centers where they participate in a variety of active endeavors. They play the traditional Okinawan guitar, a banjo type instrument, and enjoy activities that have a spiritual component that connects the mind and body.

6. Spirituality. A deep spirituality is profoundly important to older Okinawans, especially the women who take an active role in worship and are the spiritual leaders of their society. In addition to Western medicine, traditional shamanistic healing practices are important to the elders. Health is the theme of most prayers.

7. Genetic Component. There is a genetic component to the longevity of Okinawan centenarians, as they do have long-lived brothers and sisters. However, it appears that it is their lifestyle that determines whether or not they will live to be 100. Most of us have genes that will enable us to live to 85 or 90, but our choices related to diet, pace of life, outlook, activity, self-esteem, and spirituality will determine whether we get there healthy and active. It appears to be mostly in our own control!

Source: http://liveboldandbloom.com/03/health/the-keys-to-aging-well

The War on Doctors and the Destruction of Healthcare

Walking the hospital corridors, it often amazes me many of the comments I overhear patients and others speaking about doctors. On this day, I took notice to the conversation of two elderly women who were none too happy with doctors, whom they stated only cared about their computers these days and not about their patients.
Upon hearing this, I wanted to scream out that nothing is further from the reality of what doctors truly feel. In fact, many days, a burning desire to toss my computer out the second floor window consumes me, but I rein it in. Doctors abhor spending time during the patient visit on their computers, documenting in the electronic chart. This decision was foisted on us by governmental mandates much against our wills. EHR (or electronic health record) technology was forced upon us as well as its antecedent meaningful use requirements. If we do not comply, we will be financially penalized so we have little choice. I have published many articles on the topic.
Patients do not see this, however. They want our time, they need our eye contact, they need to know we care about their health. They do not want us keyboarding away while they open their hearts to us. It makes them feel insecure. It lets mistrust sneak in. This lack of trust is very harmful to the doctor-patient relationship in many ways. Perhaps, the most important is that patients are less likely to follow our medical advice when the trust is not there. And, this can lead to unfavorable medical outcomes.
Reading or watching the media now exemplifies the anti-doctor culture now prevalent in the US. Even in a State of the Union Address, our own POTUS Obama made the suggestion that doctors perform procedures for profit. He completely disregarded the integrity of most doctors who work long hours, studied for many years, and take great strides to give patients our very best care. The media clamors for us to be transparent about our charges, while many of us close our doors because we can no longer afford to practice. We see the stereotype the media portrays of us: greedy doctors driven for profit. Yet, how many of those journalists volunteered to visit our practices or even talk to us and see what it is like in the exam room and what we deal with on a daily basis? Far easier just to perpetuate a stereotype than to investigate the reality. Sure, there exist some greedy doctors out there. But, the truth is, the majority of doctors despise them because they give us all a bad name and cast us in an unfavorable light. Does anyone want to know what the average doctor is like? Or do we just want to hate them all in the same way because it pleases us this way?
The war on doctors flames in board rooms across the country, as healthcare executives discuss how to profit off of our work. They place no value on our expertise, but rather calculate how they can reduce our reimbursements and get us to practice medicine in the way they desire to reduce costs and maximize their revenue. Doctors are not judged by clinical skills but rather by how much money they saved for the insurance company. I receive these analyses quarterly from many of the insurance companies that I contract with. If I prevent my patients from going to the ED to obtain medical care or only prescribe them the cheapest medications, I earn a higher rating. Do we really want to be treated by doctors who know how to cut costs the most, or by those with the best medical skills and knowledge? Sure, we all need to be conscious of healthcare costs, but not by sacrificing the best care for our patients. Insurance companies see their bottom lines. I, and most physicians, see a patient in front of us in the exam room that we want to help, to cure, to heal, to prevent a bad outcome from happening. But, all too often, the insurance company often over-rides our medical decisions in order to save costs, not lives. How has the system lost its priority like this?
And the government is no ally to doctors either. All too often in recent years, laws and mandates have poured forth from the halls of the Congress and Senate putting more restrictions on doctors. These mandates do little to improve patient outcomes. There is no evidence available that they do yet doctors are forced to comply with these regulations or face financial penalties. In fact, if you look further into these new laws, for example MU, PQRS, PCMH, it seems that these systems are just a way for the government to have an easy way to harvest more data about our patients. Do we really want that? And why is the government turning patients into data? In the future, doctors will be paid if patients meet certain clinical outcomes, like target LDL cholesterol levels, BP readings, and many more. Shouldn’t we be worried about the person and their health and not aiming for a specific target number? The governmental mandates are changing all this. And, to make matters worse, the government is the one establishing these guidelines. Do we really want our politicians deciding what is best for our health more than doctors do? Isn’t it time politicians removed themselves from practicing medicine unless they have earned a medical degree?
Unless, we stand up and demand changes, we are facing a future where the doctor no longer has much input into your medical care. They will be forced to follow guidelines established by those without any formal medical training. And patients will be the biggest losers in this new medical world. They will no longer be a player in their own healthcare decisions. They will be relegated to what their insurance companies allow them to receive, based on cost alone. There will be no more private doctors or small practices. Patients will only be able to see doctors, if they are lucky, in large systems or hospital groups. They will no longer have a personal relationship with their doctor, who will now just be a cog in the wheel, signing off only on what he is allowed. The patient will become a number, like at the deli counter: patient in, patient out. And the patient will leave dissatisfied because they had to pay for the visit because of their high deductible. And they were not able to receive any medications or tests they needed because the insurance company denied them……and they were too expensive to pay out-of-pocket. The doctor will be burnt out and the patient disgruntled. And the government will have the data they need because the burnt-out doctor is forced to submit it under financial penalty. And the insurance company maximized their profits, with their CEOs and other administrators making annual salaries in the tens of millions of dollars (as already happens in the present day).
These are historic times for the US healthcare system. We are watching it destruct before our very eyes. The days of Marcus Welby type medicine long gone
Yes, these are historic times in medicine as the curtain closes on the way we have trained and learned to practice medicine. The doctor is no longer center stage, unless you are watching a puppet show. We are now the supporting cast. Patients no longer have center stage either. The stars are the CEOs, the administrators who are raking in the big bucks and determining company guidelines and what doctors can and cannot do. The co-stars are the politicians, who issue mandates for their own gain, to push their own agendas and to line their own pockets.
The war on doctors is flaming. The American healthcare system is being destroyed.
Are we going to fight back? Or are we going to watch history unfold?
Source: http://drlinda-md.com/2015/05/the-war-on-doctors/

How to Build a Bolder Brain With Age

Sandra Bond Chapman, Ph.D.

Cognitive neuroscientist; Founder and Chief Director, Center for BrainHealth, University of Texas at Dallas

In advance of National Older Americans Month this May, the Institute of Medicine (IOM) issued a report titled "Cognitive Aging: Progress in Understanding and Opportunities for Action." The report details changes in cognition -- essentially, brain functions such as memory, attention, decision-making and problem-solving -- as we age that affect our lives. The report also identifies positive steps we can take to counter these losses to promote cognitive health.

We are all aware of the physical changes that occur as we age: graying hair, wrinkles, and a tendency to gain weight. Less well understood, but of greater concern to our ability to live long, healthy lives are age-related changes in our brains. According to a recent AARP survey, staying mentally sharp is important to 93 percent of Americans, but few know how to maintain or improve brain health. Until recently, cognitive losses in healthy adults were viewed as an inevitable consequence of living longer causing alarm since our life expectancy has increased steadily over the years.

The Institute of Medicine report confirms the results of scientific research showing that cognitive aging is a natural process that affects everyone, to varying degrees, with both positive and negative effects. However -- and here is the good news -- each of us has the ability to strengthen our cognitive abilities throughout our lives, and to prevent, slow or even reverse cognitive decline, given the right interventions and adoption of healthy habits.

The report details three scientifically-supported actions we should take to protect our cognitive health as we age:

-- Make time for physical fitness: Regular aerobic exercise (three times a week for 50 minutes) will not only enhance physical health but also brain health, boosting blood flow to the memory center for the brain.

-- Reduce cardiovascular disease risk factors (including hypertension, diabetes and smoking)

-- Manage medications effectively

Through decades of research at the Center for BrainHealth at The University of Texas at Dallas, we have identified a specific approach to brain training that involves nine thinking strategies. We found that the brain training strategies not only improved cognitive performance, but also induced beneficial physiological strengthening of brain systems as well as real life changes.

Higher-level thinking skills -- decision-making, planning and judgment -- are controlled by the frontal networks, the brain's command operation. Frontal lobe fitness is key to our ability to thrive personally and professionally no matter what generation we are in. To stave off cognitive decline, it is important to stimulate these higher-order thinking skills throughout life.

Here are a few tips for keeping your brain (or your teen's brain) healthy and performing at a high level:

Teens and Young Adults -- Our education system emphasizes rote learning and memorization at the expense of higher-order thinking skills. Parents and teachers should encourage young people to develop their own unique interpretations of movies, and political discussions and to look for multiple possible solutions to problems rather than one "right" answer.

The greatest risk this young group faces is becoming addicted to distractions due to the enormous volume of information, stimulation and interruption coming from their smartphones and other devices. It is crucial to establish boundaries around use of technology and to encourage them focus on one idea, problem or task at a time.

Age 25 - 45 -- Key to success for this age group is being able to block extraneous information to focus on the ideas that are the most important. The notion of multitasking -- that we can do two or more things at once -- is a myth, and a dangerous one. The brain can only perform one task at a time. Far from making people more productive, multitasking exhausts the mind, decreases effectiveness and creates damaging levels of stress.

Age 46 - 65 -- Whereas this age group is losing capacity to process new information quickly and to store and retrieve data, the potential to think broader, deeper and from a higher perspective actually increases with age. Years of accumulated experience means those of us in this phase of life can easily identify what is important to know and what to ignore when presented with a huge amount of information. This ability can efficiently compensate for memory deficits. As we age, it is important to prioritize our to-do lists and take the time to filter large amounts of information and synthesize it into the most important ideas.

Over 65 -- Our cognitive perspective gets more positive as we age. Seniors tend to be happier and remember events and happenings in a positive light. Their accumulated wisdom allows them to make better decisions and solve conflicts more easily than younger generations. Seniors must continue to engage in complex mental activities to keep from losing ground in their cognitive capabilities.

I am grateful to the Institute of Medicine for publishing this report, which will enhance our understanding about this relatively new area of science. For thousands of years, people have searched in vain for the Fountain of Youth to stay young. However, science is pointing the way to a Fountain of Youth, which paradoxically is to embrace the continued potential of our aging mind. We retain tremendous power to strengthen and heal our brain's health throughout life.

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sandra-bond-chapman/aging-brain_b_7235990.html?utm_hp_ref=tw